• Home
  • Lori's Blog
  • Contact Lori

Guest Blog by Helen: Our Founding Fathers’ Posteriors

10/7/2011

7 Comments

 
Lori here, folks.  Can I just tell you how major-mondo excited I am about today's blog?  Welcome to our very first guest blog feature!  Our witty writer today is my sweet friend, Helen.  Helen is a happy soul; she always finds a way to brighten your day when you see her.  She's a glass-half-full kind of person.   On top of that?  She's hilarious.  So sit back, enjoy a cup of coffee on this brisk morning, and prepare to laugh!  
Picture
My kids and I have picked up a hobby. It’s certainly not one you would find a magazine devoted or an aisle stocked at Hobby Lobby. We collect words that can be used for a person’s…ah…rear end. Those of you who are more sensitive may want to veer your eyes from reading any further. But if you really sit down, and you have to sit down when discussing the hiny, and think about it, there are so many terms we use to mean our gluteus maximus. Some are creative and some are funny. There are those that are crass and those that are just matter-of-fact. My favorites are the ones that make your tongue contort when you say them. You never know when a new hind quarters' synonym will make itself known to your kids, so you have to be on your guard to pick it up before they do and it blows up into an embarrassing, finger-pointing giggle-fest.

Our newest specimen came from my son’s social studies assignment: memorize the Preamble of the Constitution. We’ve all had to do it. But thankfully for us who grew up with School House Rock, this is an easy and nearly fun assignment. I still have that familiar tune tucked away in the back of my memory; right next to the day I discovered I was allergic to cats and the taste of caviar.

 “We the people, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution for the United States of America.”

Preamble memorized. Done. But what does it mean? I wanted to take the assignment a step further and explain what some of the words and ideas in the Preamble meant in a manner a sixth grader and an eavesdropping third grader would understand.

One of the few times I get with my older two kids, without the persistent pestering from my 5-year-old, is in our driveway waiting for the school bus. They are fresh and bored enough to listen to what I have to say. It’s a good time to review school lessons and instill life lessons.

I explain, “Tranquility means peace…Defense means protection…Posterity means those who come behind you. Have you heard of the word posterior?”

“No. What does posterior mean?”

“Posterior is another word for your rear,” I said. Eyes light up and the Preamble takes on a whole new interest. “It’s your whole backside actually. So your posterity is the people who come behind you, who come after you.”

Then it clicks into place. “So we are your posterity,” says my 11-year-old son.

“Yes.”

“And Dad is Nana’s posterior,” my 8-year-old chimes in.

“Well, that could be argued but, yes. You get the idea,” I confirmed.

As the kids climbed onto the bus, I had to chuckle, feeling well-pleased with my morning lesson; life, liberty and a new word for our rear end collection. Chalk one up for Mom’s liberal arts education
.
7 Comments
Tambra McGill
10/7/2011 09:17:21 pm

Too cute Helen! :D

Reply
Lori
10/7/2011 09:47:41 pm

Bahahaha!

Oh, this really hits home at my house. With 2 boys running around there is a lot of posterior talk!

You made me laugh this morning Helen! Good job! Favorite line: "right next to the day I discovered I was allergic to cats and the taste of caviar." :)

Reply
Janet Wade
10/8/2011 10:54:31 am

Loved your story,Helen. Brought back fond memories of my Gram who used refer to one's back side as a BOO-HINY!:)

Reply
Laura Lee
10/9/2011 12:23:23 am

this was hysterical Helen! :)

Reply
Brandee McKee
10/10/2011 01:03:40 am

I laughed so hard reading this!! My rear end should have been gone when I was done!! But hey it's still there Trunk, junk and all!! Love it Helen!! I wanna come hang out at the bus stop!!

Reply
Cathy Hadley
10/10/2011 03:06:10 am

when my Dad was little his family called it "my aching heart". One day when he heard a song on the radio he thought they were saying a "bad word".

Reply
Jonnette Hanson
10/11/2011 12:36:31 am

LOL....I love it Helen! You have a way with words my friend....you should have been a writer! I hope there are more of these because now I'm a fan! :)

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Lori.  Momma.  Noonday Ambassador.  Avid coffee drinker.  Lover of good music and books.  Former seamstress and teacher.  Wife of 13 years to Bart and the mother of Drew, Ben and Lincoln.     

    Picture

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Adoption
    Carnegie
    Experimenting
    Getting Healthy
    Giveaways
    Guest Blogs
    Life Lessons
    Lori Is Crazy
    My Bart
    My Kiddos
    P & P Inspirations
    P & P Inspirations
    P & P Models
    Riley
    Sewing Machines
    Spring Summer 2011

    Archives

    February 2016
    September 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    August 2012
    May 2012
    March 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.