I jumped up from the floor where Ben and I were playing. "That's so strange. I didn't hear anything!" I thought as I skipped to the front door. I took a deep breath, swung open my front door, and.....
there was nothing there.
"Hm. That's weird. Maybe they left it on the back deck." I rationalized to myself.
I walked around my house 3 times searching every nook and cranny. There were no big brown boxes to be found.
Did I mention that our address is in the process of being changed due to the new 911 addresses? Greaaaaaat timing.
I called UPS. I called my printing company. I had all kinds of representatives trying to find that package. "Mam, it says it was delivered. Have you checked everywhere?" and my favorite, "We filed a missing package claim. We will get back to you in 1-8 days."
Sorry sir, that's not going to work for this chick.
I hung up my phone and banged my head on the table. What to do? I took a deep breath, and then decided it was time to take action.
I grabbed my keys, (Bart was home by now to stay with the kiddos) and headed out. I slowly drove through my neighborhood scanning front porches. I turned onto the highway, and just when I was about to give up....
I SAW A BIG BROWN BOX!
I whipped into the driveway. The house was deserted, but there were tons of cars driving by. I sunk down in my seat (with my big ole' shades on), and glanced around.
With a burst of courage I jumped out of my car. I moved all stealth-like up to the front porch. At the last minute I decided it was a no-go on the knocking. I bent down with fingers crossed, and lo and behold..... it was my catalogs!
I squealed with happiness. I quickly covered my mouth.... Secret Agent, remember?!?? You're going to blow your cover! I hoisted my big brown box and walked quickly to my car. I jumped in the driver's seat and drove off laughing like a crazy woman who just got away with a bank heist.