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Road Rage

11/30/2011

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I picked up Drew after school yesterday, and we set off to the Dentist.  As we drove down the road, I noticed a car fly up quickly behind me.  The driver was in a hurry, going way too fast, and riding my tail like crazy.  Might I note, I was going a few miles over the speed limit.   As we rounded the corner together, I saw a funeral procession coming towards us.  I began to slow my car (and OH, did that make her mad.)  I eventually pulled over as the hearse passed by.  I kept an eye on her in my rear-view mirror.  I watched her throw her hands up, recognize the hearse in the other lane, and then stop. 

Then, it happened.


As soon as the hearse passed by, my friend behind me started nudging towards my bumper.  She threw up hands, she threw up a finger, she yelled, and she honked.  All while the rest of the funeral procession with their little flags passed us by.  My car stayed still.  She gunned her silver Thunderbird up between my back bumper and the trail of mourners.  

I wanted to roll down my window and scream, "What is wrong with you?  Do you not understand the concept of RESPECT?  Is your world so busy that you can't take one moment of it and honor that these peoples' worlds have stopped?  Where are you going that is worth this anger?  This carelessness?  Are you so demanding and selfish that you must have everything immediately?  Do you not see your chance to show another human being kindness?"  


A fire jumped in my heart that made me want to pound that lady.  Hello, Road Rage.

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I had to pull myself back from the edge.  When I encounter this type of person, I have to remind myself (sometimes forcibly)  "Turn the other cheek, Lori."   I keep hearing in my head, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."  So, to curb the rage I feel inside, I play a game.

                                       Back Story 

How to play:  After you have interacted with a rager, you must create his or her reasoning for the crazy behavior.  Now, I'm not talking about the "Oh, his wife could be in labor and they are on their way to the hospital."  That's too easy.  These back-stories must be creative.  Here are some of my favs:


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1.  A man is racing to catch the love of his life before she marries the wrong man.  He has stayed quiet for too long.....he can't deny it any longer!  He still loves her, and he's been such a fool for letting her go.  (The new man is a cheating jerk in this scenario...)  The wedding starts at 1:00, and he has 5 minutes to get to the church before he loses her forever.  (aka "The Days of our Lives Back Story")

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2.  A young couple discover a bomb strapped in their glove compartment of their rental car.  A note attached reads, "If this car goes under 50 mph it will explode."  The girl drives frantically, as the boy tries to find a way to diffuse the bomb.  (aka "The Speed Back-Story")

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3.  A lady is dressed to kill in designer duds, high heels and spanx.  She is on her way to interview for a job she wants sooooo badly, but has carelessly decided to stop at White Castle en route.  She is white-knuckle driving to the nearest bathroom, praying she can make it and save her Prada skirt.  

You get the idea.  It makes me laugh and helps ease the anger.  I have no clue what kind of day that lady had before she sped up to the bumper of my car.  Maybe she was fighting a really hard battle that afternoon (or maybe she was just being a big ole' meanie.)  Either way, it's best just to drive a few yards, turn into the gas station, and watch her zoom past me.  As I pulled back out onto the highway behind her I began,  "A lady was on her way home when suddenly...."

Any road rage encounters out there?  Anyone want to take a shot at a Back Story for my Rager?  
6 Comments

For only 3 Easy Payments...

11/8/2011

8 Comments

 
6 years ago Bart and I were at The Covered Bridge Festival with a toddler Drew.  It was cold and rainy, so we sought shelter in a huge tent full of vendors.  At the first table we found a charismatic young fellow.  In his hands he held a small, neon, fuzzy worm.  As the worm leaped from hand to hand, I felt Bart start to slow the stroller.  I thought to myself, "Oh no.  Not again......"

"Lori, look at that!  How is he doing that?!?"  Bart exclaimed more to himself than to me.

"It's a string, Bart.  Like a fishing line."  I replied.

"For only $8.99 you can own your own wiggle worm!  It's super easy, and the magic is explained in your own set of instructions you will receive.  With a little practice you can pull off these amazing tricks!  Your friends will be AMAZED!"  The worm-man interceded.  

"No way that's fishing line, Lori.  Look how fast that thing is moving!  He trapped it in a glass and it still is wiggling.  I don't see a string!"  Bart countered back.

"That's because it's dim in this tent.  I'm telling you....it's a string."  I said a tad more forcibly this time.

We continued on with our shopping, but I could tell he was already hooked.  On our way back to the parking lot, we stopped and bought the $8.99 worm.  As we walked away from the tent Bart ripped open the package and skimmed the instructions.

"So?"  I asked.

Bart stopped in his tracks and his mouth set in a tight little line.  "I don't want to talk about it."  He stated.

  
My Bart loves infomercials, and I love this about him.  Sometimes on Saturday mornings I will catch him kicked back in his recliner watching one.  He loves the pitch, he loves the "magic," and he loves the salespeople.

QVC is his vice.

Every year for Christmas we buy each kiddo a QVC toy.  Bart LOVES the hunt.  "Lori, this one could be it.  Look at this!  It's free shipping if we order now.....should we do it?"

I must admit, the QVC toys have not disappointed.  Here are our favorite finds:

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Magformers.  These things are SWEET.  They have little magnets that shift as you build with them, allowing you to create 3-D shapes.

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Neo Tracks.  The track is movable and the cars light up.  It's such an interactive toy...   not like a regular track that the kids just set up and watch.  So many options!

So, our home has its share of "As Seen on TV" items.  Most of them we love.  A miss that we have encountered?  The Bullet.
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The Bullet (a food processor.)  It works, but we totally don't use it as much as we thought we would.

I used to laugh at the madness.  "Awe, bless his little cotton-pickin heart.  Here we go again."  However, that was before I met the Turbie Twist.  I now have no room to talk or judge.
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I ADORE my Turbie Twist.  It is just enough towel to wrap up your hair after a shower, and it stays in place until you are ready to dry your hair.  I was skeptical the first time I used it.  I mean, how big of a deal could it be?  It's just a towel.   I whipped that baby around my head, flipped right side up and looked into the mirror.  I swear I heard a choir of angels singing.  How had I not known about this magical tool!??!?  

I now own 3 Turbie Twists.  Momma gets cranky if she has to use a regular towel. 


So, this year at The Covered Bridge Festival we toted along both of our boys.  We let them pick out 1 item each year.  Drew scoured many booths in search of the perfect item.  As we were getting ready to leave, we had to make one last stop.  Drew darted into the booth and emerged carrying a small brown bag.  

"What did you get?"  I asked.
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The Aluma Wallet.  Protects your credit cards from being scanned.  Water-proof.  Also is strong enough to withstand a car running over it.  Because, you must always be prepared for that kind of thing.

I was overcome with pride for my little Wade man.  That's my boy....  *tear*




So, fess up.  What "As Seen on TV" or QVC products have you tried?  
8 Comments

The Last Two Weeks

11/3/2011

2 Comments

 
I'm still alive, I promise.

I've had to take a short blogging break these last two weeks.  With the Fall Festival and Holiday Bazaar falling on back to back weekends, P & P is in full-time mode.  I'm seeing pins and rotary cutters in my sleep!  Throw Mommy-hood into the mix, and there is just not 1 more extra hour in the day!  Shoo!   I will be back blogging next week, and there are going to be some fun ones.  You will find out which one of us is an "As seen on TV" nut, and we will also talk about preconceived ideas of gender roles in the home.   Good stuff for next week!  So, here are some snapshots of my life lately.

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Drew turned 8, Mario Brothers style.
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Halloween, Mario Brothers style again. I'm starting to see a pattern here.....
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P & P at the Fall Festival last weekend. It was a wonderful day!
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Waiting on customers last weekend. Life is good as long as I have my Francisco De Borja Cappuccino.
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    Author

    Lori.  Momma.  Noonday Ambassador.  Avid coffee drinker.  Lover of good music and books.  Former seamstress and teacher.  Wife of 13 years to Bart and the mother of Drew, Ben and Lincoln.     

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